Wednesday, May 8, 2013

So I haven't posted in ages. *insert apologetic face*
Okay so I have a friend who I was really close to over the past year. In January, I told the school therapist that she cuts and is anorexic and suicidal, which she is. Let's just call her... B. So B started to hate me and ignoring me. Which sucked because this person saved my life. So I was sitting there, all upset and shit, and meeting with the therapist I told about her.

He insists that she'll come around. She kept telling me she wouldn't. Though a while ago, she did thank me for exposing her. Lately, a mutual friend of ours has brought us back to talking. Her excuse is "I really shouldn't be talking to you, but I don't have any friends, so..."

This whole experience hurt badly. Really badly. I think I lost my best friend over it.


Friday, April 26, 2013

      So my friend Chris showed me a link to a list of books that were challenged and banned from libraries.
There is the link. The first book that caught my eye was 'And Tango Makes Three' by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson. One of the reasons was homosexuality. Another book was King & King by Linda DeHaan, and the ONLY reason it is listed is because of HOMOSEXUALITY.
Other books listed were for shit like 'violence, offensive language, sexuality, unsuited for age groups'... This shit is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS.

Our society has to do with this stuff- it's messy yet it is still the way the world works. These people are stupid and ridiculous and I am honestly so infuriated right now.

God dammit.
Until tomorrow, when the world will suck maybe a little less, maybe a little more. Take it one day at a time.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

So today, we will be discussing stress. Right now, I really should be reading one of the three books I have assigned for my classes, or doing my math homework for the test tomorrow or studying for my AP exam that's on May 14. But no, I am sitting here in Physics (That class is BULLSHIT- I swear the rules keep changing on me. Waves waves waves, different types different rules blah blah) and we just took a test. I got a C.  14/20, 70% which wasn't that bad for me. I didn't know any of it and just bullshitted my way through. But I passed, and that's what is important, right?
        So I'm sitting here and stressing out over the abovementioned items. I don't know if I have a TRF due for AVID next period, but I'm not filing one out just in case. Too much work, too much work. Above all,  I am lazy. I'm a teenager, what the hell do you expect out of me?
        Stress, right, back on point. Teenagers are always under tons of stress okay? And we aren't going to broadcast it okay? Isn't it just so annoying when parents or teachers are like "You guys aren't stressed, wait until you have bills to pay!" or some shit?
         Gah. So I'm ranting, but I'm trying to post daily. So I imagined this blog would be some deep stuff, but I don't have anything deep to say right now besides how irritated and stressed I am. Which isn't deep. I have so much social stuff going wrong too. G:Jand slkn;fokja;s oknfojeown

Anyways. I hope your day is going okay, because teenagers days are never great. But sometimes they are. So I hope your day is okay, because you're an okay person even if you don't feel okay.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I'm currently stuck in Geometry right now. My grandma called 911 at three in the morning last night because the house was dark. I've slept about five hours that past three days. Talk about emotionally corrupted and vulnerable.
But I was writing in my journal yesterday, and came upon a realization. A few night ago I read an article dedicated to how to 'Not Give a Fuck'. (If I can find it again, I'll link it in). In this article, it basically said you can't care about what others think about you. So I'm sitting in French yesterday, mulling this over.
A topic on my mind was how The Suicide Room (movie) inspired me not to care. The main character, Dominik, turns into an 'emo' guy. Because he shouldn't give a fuck about it.
          So I realized the way that I tried not to care was by being hyper and crazy. But I didn't like that. I don't know. Then I realized there are two subcatagories underneath the whole idea of not caring.
1. Hyper/Crazy
2. Emo-like

These are what I came up with. If you have any other ideas, let me know!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Hey everyone. I'm Aidan Foxtrot. (That isn't my real name) I'm a teenager recovering from depression. I am a victim of bullying, I used to cut, having eating problems, and attempted suicide once. I just got out of therapy and am currently on antidepressants. I have people close to me fighting many of these same problems. 

I want to blog about this kind of stuff for everyone to read. If there are parents out there with kids suffering from these issues, maybe this will help you understand. Because trust me. Parents never understand. If you want to contact me, you can email me at Lately I've been watching some movies on this stuff, and I must say, I recommend The Suicide Room and Cyberbully. Both are able to be found on YouTube with a simple search of the title followed by 'full movie.' (Ex: The Suicide Room-Full Movie)

I will blog about movies, books, music, and Emocja. Why is this blog titled Emocja? It's Polish for 'emotion'. It's Polish because The Suicide Room is a Polish movie. And I love that movie. <3 Dominik 

I love you all.
Happy reading!